Suicidal ideation and being suicidal are considered the same thing by many. I don’t think they are. At least, for me it’s not the same. I am currently teetering on the edge of the fence and trying to stay safe and sane and project an image of stability.
I have an overwhelming sense of dread. My mind is convinced I am standing on the edge of a precipice, and life keeps giving me reasons why this is justified. I’ve told a select few people (and now the world, I guess) that I feel like I am on borrowed time and won’t be here in five years. I recently backed that down to two.