Suicidal ideation and being suicidal are considered the same thing by many. I don’t think they are. At least, for me it’s not the same. I am currently teetering on the edge of the fence and trying to stay safe and sane and project an image of stability.
I used to be toxic. I was a train wreck, a flying monkey, and a whole three-ring circus all by myself. It took me a lot of years to recognize my toxic traits because it’s easier to deny, deflect, and project rather than accept, admit, and own. The key word is formerly. I changed.