I have an overwhelming sense of dread. My mind is convinced I am standing on the edge of a precipice, and life keeps giving me reasons why this is justified. I’ve told a select few people (and now the world, I guess) that I feel like I am on borrowed time and won’t be here in five years. I recently backed that down to two.
As I’ve said before, I am trying to keep myself from falling into a major depressive episode. This has resulted in me being in and out of hypomania trying to keep myself balanced. Hypomania with bipolar disorder causes a number of problems.
I tend to use music to get through depression. A lot of those days are sad days, so I tend to listen to a lot of sad songs. I also listen to songs filled with anger. Here’s a playlist of some of my faves.